Behaviorism’ed [bɪˈheɪvjərɪz(ə)md] : Taught to beat yourself up over mistakes and devalue yourself for not being perfect.
credit to Steeps&Stims
I’ve got many thoughts right now. See, I’ve been writing about this stuff for quite a few years now. I write about parenting, and take a strong stance against Behaviorist tendencies. I think focussing on behavior is a very devaluating approach since people are so, so much more than what they do. And yes, children are people too. Behaviorist parenting is scratching the surface so you like what you see, ignoring the deeper layers, the inner workings of the child. And the child might adjust, showing you what you like to see even if it takes a few dislocated cogwheels; or bleed. Which isn’t pretty, so more harsh measures are sometimes inflicted (‘she’s acting out, so we need bigger punishment’). Continue reading “Behaviorism’ed”
I made this last week (see picture). It’s a planner for my 4yo, so she can see what we’ve got planned in the weeks ahead. And she can add stuff (I printed it obviously. Well, asked someone to print it for me). Because she has PLANS. Continue reading “Magic wand”
Wow, this is so interesting! Sleep rhythms are different for different age groups, and this may have originated as a means to keep families safe from predators. Because if family groups sleep huddled up together, there’s always somebody awake, or sleeping lightly.
Sleep ‘disorders’ may actually be an ancient adaptation to keep families safe.
I should write about this! Well I am writing about this, but write-write, for an actual website, with readers and stuff.
I do write for ‘real websites’ actually, but many ideas get lost due to lack of time or focus. Which brings me to my next thought: ADHD often goes with a slow(/late) circadian rhythm. Maybe this is an adaptation too? We’re supposed to be night owls, saving our friends and family from stalking cave lions while everybody else is asleep? Except for teenagers of course. Who needs people with ADHD when you’ve got teenagers?
My kid loves books.
Creative use of just about anything has always been one of my strengths, I sort of have to because of my habit of stumbling into unforeseen situations.
I think most children are naturally good at seeing a million ways to use things. Seeing possibilities beyond the obvious, improvise, create, play. I remember a neighbor telling my toddler: ‘that’s not a comb, it’s a rake!’ (don’t worry, plastic toy, not the big sharp nasty poke-your-eye-out kind of thing). Nooooo! It’s a comb! And a rake! And a bridge for the toy car, a lock for the playhouse, a long neck dino and everything you want it to be! It’s sad so many people lose this playfulness.
‘Lose’ isn’t the best description though. Lose sight of it, put it away, get scared of doing stuff ‘wrong’. Grown-ups often don’t trust their playfulness, hiding it in a closet locked with ‘supposed-to’s’.
I wonder what would happen if we set free all the wacky, colourful playfulness, and stop being (/making people) afraid to make mistakes or ‘suppost-akes’. It just might be wonderful.
My oven hasn’t had the loving care it deserves. It’s black and sticky, and creates smoke every time I turn it on.
So, I decided to try this oven cleaning hack. It seemed perfect timing because the oven was still hot from the baguettes I just baked (because we were out of bread).
Mixing the stuff I was thinking: this sounds like the vulcano science project my 4yo did…. And of course it was exactly like that. I quickly wacked the vulcano in my oven (I never put things in the oven anymore, not since I’ve seen Jamie Oliver), and reread the article.
100 degrees, is that Fahrenheit or Celsius? And then I read the comments.
Well. I can’t mess my oven up any worse than it was beforehack, right?
I was going to write every day. Snappy, so I wouldn’t procrastinate because of perfectionism issues. So, I had some ideas, every day, but didn’t get to it. Now I’m getting to it, but I don’t remember what I wanted to write about.
In the old days I probably would have beaten myself up over it. But I’m done with that. Well, some days. Most days maybe even. So, I fell off the horse, and I’m getting back up.
What went wrong? I think part of it is me being distracted. I promised my youngest I’d finish her papyrifera shawl today, so she could show her friends at school. Tomorrow the summer holidays start. So I knit, knitted, knitted some more, crocheted untill late last night, and blocked it. So I was done by midnight, right on time right?
Telephone says I’m late in picking her up from school though. So, perfectionism out of the window, this blog is okay for today.
So I saw this puzzle, a friend posted it online. It’s called the Wason selection test, and apparently most people get it wrong. Unless you use beer cards.
Let me explain. Oh, correction. Let the video explain:
And with beer:
Each card has an age on one side, and a drink on the other. Which card(s) must be turned over to test the idea that if you are drinking alcohol then you must be over 18?
So, the wiki page goes on explaining the beer test is easier, because we’re social animals. Yes, I won’t argue with that. But isn’t the second puzzle a different puzzle altogether?
With the color cards, if the question would be: ‘all the cards with an even number can’t have a green back, which of the cards do you have to turn around to check?’, wouldn’t most people get it right?
If so, it’s not a social clue that helps, it’s that our brain is bad with negation. The question states blue, we look at blue. Question says green…
Unless you’re a computer of course. Computer says no… Which is why it would be interesting to know whether programmers don’t need beer to solve the puzzle.